In class this week we briefly discussed "choices". We are all faced with them everyday some small some huge ,but most of the time it's the outcome of those choices that make us really think about our choices. The debate of the choice in this class has been avoid thus far in the semester so I feel it's appropriate to discuss it further more.
While discussing issues like abortion, being a parent or giving the child up for adoption I asked some of my close male and female friends about their opinion on these topics.
The questions consisted of:
#1 How do you feel about abortions? and Would you ever have one you're self or be willing to let your partner get one??
#2 Would adoption be considered an option?
#3 What would be the outcome if one wasn't for an abortion?
I asked 2 females and 2 males which in one case 1 was a couple.
The first was a female very religious and very family oriented.
Her response: Abortion/lives are not supposed to be left up to the power of man. An abortion is not an option I knew the consequences of my actions and now I'm willing to deal with them whether I do it alone or with my partner. She continued to say a life is precious and shouldn't be left up to choice
Her response to #2: Given my circumstance I would considered the thought ,but I would always feel a sense of regret not knowing how my child will turn out. Ultimately she said if the cons of her situation out weighted her pros she would give up the child for adoption.
Her response to the #3: Because it's me I wouldn't care about how the other felt when it came to my well being and the child. So I would take care of it on my own and wash my hands of the situation.
The 2nd female I asked who was in a relationship brought up some good points as well
Her response to #1: I'm not against abortions or for them but I do feel in certain cases yes and some no. I would only get one if i was rapped or absolutely wasn't 100% with whom the partner was. Meaning if I didn't feel my partner was capable of caring for it.
Response to #2: I wouldn't give my baby up for adoption because I know I would miss sharing those childhood moments with them also the fact of not knowing how their living or who there with.
Response to #3: It all depends on the partner and how we feel as a combined unit. I'm not for or not against so I can't say until I'm in that predicament.
The two females made some valid points and I was eager to hear the males perspective on it.
Males Responses:
Response #1: I don't really agree with abortion for the simple fact that it's not my body nor would I force my partner to get one. Although I would be very scared if she was to go through with it. For the most part though I can't have that on my heart especially if we continue to mess around and have unprotected sex.
Response #2: As a man not having a father I wouldn't cause I want to give my child the opportunities that I was never given with my dad. I want to be involved in my child's life as much as possible and I can't do that if I give them away.
Response #3: Like I said in the beginning it's not my body I wouldn't force it and I wouldn't persuade her to do so. As my father not being there I'm glad my mom took it upon her self to have me cause obviously he wasn't going to.
Male number 2 had some different responses of those to male number one and also I found out something that i didn't know.
Response #1 I'm for abortions I'm not ready to be a father nor close to being ready. I've been with someone who had an abortion before and it hurt me and still does knowing that I convinced her to get one later finding out that is was twins. At the same time we both made that choice to do so.
Response #2 People often laugh when I say i won't give up my child but my partner got an abortion ,but that's a different feeling....like i don't know...it's like you know they out there some where and they probably don't even know you exist. They might even be looking for me.
Response #3 I've been in that situation and trust me it ain't easy so from now on I'm more cautious and I think before I act.
After asking these questions I didn't completely agree but I could understand how and why they felt this way. Given what I just told you how do you feel about the questions.
#1 How do you feel about abortions? and Would you ever have one you're self or be willing to let your partner get one??
#2 Would adoption be considered an option?
#3 What would be the outcome if one wasn't for an abortion?
1. I personally would not be able to have an abortion because I would feel blessed that God gave me the gift of a child. However, I am not against abortion in any way. I have a close friend who chose to have an abortion because to raise the child she would have to give up college. I have mixed feelings, however, because I feel like if you don't want to raise your child there is always adoption. I'm not sure how I feel.
ReplyDelete2. I am a strong supporter of adoption but I don't know if I would be strong enough to give my child up for adoption if I got pregnant. I feel as though if you are doing it for the better of the child it is okay, but if it is for you, the parent, it is a selfish choice.
3. I would never abort a baby that had a father who wanted him/her. I think that is absolutely ridiculous and evil. In the same sense, if I was the only willing parent of my child I would not abort them simply because my partner wasn't going to help.
-Cheyane Frizzell
1. My personal opinion on this issue is very pro-choice. If I were to get pregnant now, I would, for many reasons, get an abortion. I would not be able to take care of a child at this point in my life not only emotionally but financially. My choice to have an abortion would solely be based on the fact that I would not be able to give my child the life it deserves. If I were the male in the relationship I believe I would let the woman choose what she wanted to do.
ReplyDelete2. Adoption would never be a consideration for me. Personally, because I would not be able to constantly have the thought in the back of my head that my child is out there somewhere else and being raised by someone I don’t know very well. Like on 16 & Pregnant when Caitlynn and her partner decide to give their baby up for adoption and the show reveals how much turmoil they go through day to day because of the choice they made. Even though it may have been the right decision for them, I would not be able to shake the feeling of “that’s still my baby.”
3. If my partner did not want me to get an abortion, honestly I’m not sure what I would do. It’s a very hard situation to weigh unless you are in it. If he felt very strongly about keeping it I would have to know that he was going to be a father to the child, even if something happened between him and I. I would also make sure he wasn’t making a choice only based on his beliefs but also that he was making a knowledgeable choice.
-Lauren B.
1. I don't think abortion should be used as a form of birth control, but rather as a last resort. People need to be using protection if they are having sex, but if something went wrong and they ended up pregnant and knew they couldn't give their child a good life, then abortion might be the best option. Personally, I plan on waiting until marriage to have sex, so I hopefully won't end up in a situation where I'll need to make a choice like this. If I did find myself in this situation however, it would depend on the context and where I am in my life at the time.
ReplyDelete2. Yes. Adoption would be an option. I wouldn't want to rule out any of my options.
3. While it is the woman's body, I think it is important that both partners have an equal say in the decision; the baby is both of theirs after all. I think the partners need to agree on a course of action and respect and support each other in that decision.
Alyssa K.
1. I think abortions depend on the situation. I agree that it is ok to get an abortion if you are raped by someone. I believe that people often make mistakes and deserve second chances. If you are 18 and have your sights on college I believe it would be ok to get an abortion because a child could steer you off your path of accomplishing your goals.
ReplyDelete2. I would never consider adoption. I would feel guilty knowing that my child is somewhere out there in the world. Like male number 1 said I would not consider adoption because I didn't have a father growing up. I would always want to be there for my child and provide him with privileges that I didn't have.
3. I think that if one partner wants to have the baby then they should be able to have the baby.
-Chris M.
1. I do not believe that abortions should be used as a form of birth control or as an excuse to have unprotected sex. While I know that abortion is not for me, I will not judge someone for getting an abortion. If I knew the person, however, I would encourage adoption because I know people that would love any child. But adoption is not for everyone and I would not judge.
ReplyDelete2. I would be willing to consider adoption for myself. However that would probably not be my ultimate decision because I have a really good family support system.
3. If one partent wanted the child then I would let that parent have the baby. However I cannot see myself not wanting the baby after nine months and birth. Also its easy to talk in the hypothetical but I'm not sure what I would do if the situation happened.
Sloane H.